A Smidjin at a time

There are a lot of comments now. Fifty pounds is hard to miss, especially if you don't see someone every day. So, people will comment and complement and question. They applaud and congratulate. Its humbling to have to learn how to graciously accept this, to acknowledge the sincerity of the statement. But sometimes, it's really hard to accept it. Maybe because its been a frustrating week with the scale or the workouts. Maybe because it's the 10th time that day something has been said about it. Or maybe it's because sometimes its hard to see the big picture through the big picture.  I've lost 50 pounds so far this year. 50. And while yes, I am extremely proud of that, I also know how far in still have to go. And sometimes, in my head that overshadows my victories. I'm working on seeing both ends of the picture, I promise I am. 

Sometimes, when you are in the middle of things, it's hard to see progress. In those times  when you've stepped on the scale and it barely moved, when all you feel is the pain of injuries and the frustration of goals missed, when everyone compliments you on the changes you can't see yourself, in those times it's really hard to keep moving forward.  And then, sometimes, it all comes together. Your shirt hangs better than it used to, you feel strong at the start line, you pass people like crazy, and you actually manage to run up the hill to the finish line. And when you look at it side by side, you get to see the effects of all the work you have put in rehabbing injuries and losing weight and getting up at 430 to workout.  There is still a long ways to go. A lot of hills and valleys and struggles and pain. But there is also a lot of rewards and successes and achieved goals ahead. 

Well, here I sit, with one of my favorite work perks. GameReady, I am mid 20 minute ice and compression session on my knee. Why on my knee you ask, well, let me tell you. Remember back in in january I told you about how I did a half marathon and made my knee mad and then I fell on the ice and made my knee madder and how I was taking Januray off from most workouts and was back in PT working on making my knee happy? Well we got it mostly happy again, and I started doing my walks again and it was beautiful. My pace was so much better than it was all of last year, and the knee felt better while working out, and the shin splints seemed to be gone. And then, one fateful st patrick’s day, I was doing the laundry, and I twisted, and there was a loud pop, and all the pain and then some came back. So back to PT I went. And my PT said the words I was expecting him to say back in december that he hadn’t “Maybe it is time to think about seeing ortho and getting an MRI”. So I did, well I saw the

Let's just say 2017 got kinda ugly and hard and dark and depressing there in the end. I'm not sure about you all, but I am so glad 2018 is here. I know really, deep down that the "New Year" is kinda an arbitrary thing, but there is also something magical about "New" things that fill us with hope again.  Last I checked in with you all here I was training for a Half-Marathon. I'm not to sure it was going well at the time, and well, it didn't get any better. I mean I did the half- marathon, it finished it. But it was very ill trained for, and my time, my body and my experience reflect that. But, I did it. I didn't give up before hand, and I didn't give up during it. I buckled down and I walked over that finish line on my own power and strength. Cause Big Tough Sandy is strong. So, there is was in my post-half marathon misery taking it easy, with a knee that was holding on to it's opinion that I did a stupid thing way longer than

Well, it's official. I am registered for my next half-marathon. I am once again doing the Holiday Half in December. It's been on the calendar for months, but I hadn't actually committed. I was kinda stuck. I was super nervous to register because I felt like my training wasn't going anywhere, I wasn't being consistent with it, my long walks weren't happening, the shin pain was back and all that kept me from registering. Yet, I also knew that by not registering I wasn't putting enough pressure on myself to be consistent with the training, because it wasn't official there was still a chance I wasn't gonna committ, so why put myself through it. But it is official now. I have registered, I customized my race bib, I selected my shirt size, I paid extra for the shuttle. I saved the confirmation email in the special folder labeled "race info". Now all that's left to do is pick the perfect race outfit. Oh, and train, I should probably kick the

I'm not gonna lie. I've been pretty frustrated lately. I skipped a race I had been looking forward to. My mile time I swear is getting worse. I joined a weight loss challenge and GAINED weight. And I feel like my PT progress has been 2 steps forward 1 step back...with a couple random extra steps back. I have questioned why I haven't quite yet. But you know what? I almost gave up on another race this past weekend, but through the encouragement of a friend I showed up and walked 3x farther than any of my "training" walks this year. And you know what, it wasn't so bad. My legs didn't actually fall off, my back behaved the majority of the time, and the after party was a blast. I'm making more mental progress than physical progress. But I guess progress is progress. I audibly admitted (complete with sweat and a couple tears) how frustrated I am with my backs progress at physical therapy to the PTA I was working with this week, cause you know