A Smidjin at a time

Let's just say 2017 got kinda ugly and hard and dark and depressing there in the end. I'm not sure about you all, but I am so glad 2018 is here. I know really, deep down that the "New Year" is kinda an arbitrary thing, but there is also something magical about "New" things that fill us with hope again.  Last I checked in with you all here I was training for a Half-Marathon. I'm not to sure it was going well at the time, and well, it didn't get any better. I mean I did the half- marathon, it finished it. But it was very ill trained for, and my time, my body and my experience reflect that. But, I did it. I didn't give up before hand, and I didn't give up during it. I buckled down and I walked over that finish line on my own power and strength. Cause Big Tough Sandy is strong. So, there is was in my post-half marathon misery taking it easy, with a knee that was holding on to it's opinion that I did a stupid thing way longer than...

I'm not gonna lie. I've been pretty frustrated lately. I skipped a race I had been looking forward to. My mile time I swear is getting worse. I joined a weight loss challenge and GAINED weight. And I feel like my PT progress has been 2 steps forward 1 step back...with a couple random extra steps back. I have questioned why I haven't quite yet. But you know what? I almost gave up on another race this past weekend, but through the encouragement of a friend I showed up and walked 3x farther than any of my "training" walks this year. And you know what, it wasn't so bad. My legs didn't actually fall off, my back behaved the majority of the time, and the after party was a blast. I'm making more mental progress than physical progress. But I guess progress is progress. I audibly admitted (complete with sweat and a couple tears) how frustrated I am with my backs progress at physical therapy to the PTA I was working with this week, cause you know ...

DNS. Did Not Start Three letters that no "runner" ever wants to see next to their name. But alas, last week those letters and my name were used in the same sentence in regards to a race. Remember how this all started last year? Shamrock Run 8k, a wet and windy and pretty dang miserable first race of what would be an amazing year. Well, somehow I allowed myself to be talked into registering again. And really, I was excited to. I wanted to do a repeat race and be able to compare. But the closer and closer race day came, the less and less my body felt ready for it.  If it was simply a matter of just not getting enough runs in to feel like I would accomplish my goals. But more like a legit my back is still freaking out and I haven't really trained at all, and I was doing another run the day before that meant a lot more to me. So I found myself making the hard/easy decision to skip shamrock, even though I had my bib and shirt already. But here are a few things I learned fr...

What happens when winter interferes with all your not so carefully crafted training plans and your back has a massive melt down and you find yourself checking in at a race not sure if you will even have the strength to make it to the starting line? Well, you either walk back to the car empty handed and cry or you suck it up, lower your expectations a little and get it done. So that is what I found myself doing yesterday morning. I had been looking forward to this race since before I even finished the half marathon. I really wanted to do a race on my birthday weekend. It was to be a celebration of all I had accomplished in my 32nd year and a way to set the tone for all I hoped to do with year 33. There was so much I wanted out of the Winter 5k. I wanted my sub 16 min/mile back, I haven’t seen it since September after all.  I wanted to actually run part of it, not just 100 feet here or there but enough to actually say “I ran it”. I wanted to feel strong. However weeks of snow a...

What can I say, 2016 was an adventure that is for sure. Everything from joy to pain, progress to setbacks, 2016 certainly didn't hold back.  I ended 2015 registering to run the Shamrock 15k with some friends. Mind you, at the time I didn't run at all and I had only done one "race" that year, and it was a simple 5k that I walked. While I eventually had to admit that I would only be able to walk the 8k, Shamrock became the starting point of 10 races I would do in 2016, including a half marathon! Can we talk about that Half-Marathon for a minute? I freaking did a Half-Marathon! 13.1 miles, 21km, 69217.5 feet! I did it 21 and half minutes faster than the half-marathon I did on 2010. And while the journey to get there was full of frustration and pain, the sense of accomplishment is amazing. I will forever be proud of that day.  Speaking of frustration, pain really is the most obnoxious teacher there ever is. The 2nd half of 2016 found myself doing 17 weeks of physica...

It's finally almost here. Like seriously, in twelve hours I will be huddling with the masses, stretching, breathing, and praying for strength. The clothes are laid out, the bag packed, the carbs loaded, and the nails are being painted.  While the last several months have not physically gone the way I wanted, they have been very beneficial for me. Both of my PT guys being runners themselves was so helpful, they have helped me not just get my core healthy and strong again, but have talked training plans with me, interpreted weather reports and taught me secrets about my car.  So I take all the wisdom that has been shared with me, I will trust my training, I will breathe, and I will laugh and smile and enjoy my time out there. See you all over the finish line. 

Thirteen. It's kinda a big number today. It's thirteen days until I go out there and do Thirteen.One miles with my friend Randi. To say I am nervous is an understatement. My training hasn't gone exactly as planned. I have developed shin splints in the last month or so. My inner scaredy cat is making her presence known. I fought a migraine for a whole week. I backed off on a couple of the planned long runs. I have been Frustrated. I have cursed during a short walk. I have cut routes short because I was hurting. Or because I lost confidence in myself. I have cried on the living room floor. I have doubted myself. I have thought about giving up. But I haven't given up. I have trusted good friends with these frustrations. I have listened to their humor. I have absorbed every word of wisdom and encouragement they have spoken over me or texted me. I have planned the race outfit. I have even sewn my skirt. I have iced. I have stretched. I have foam rolled. I have become bes...

How did I end up here? What got me to this place where I am less than 2 months away, 6 weeks to be precise, from doing my 2nd half marathon? Especially considering I did not have fond memories of the first one and I swore I would never do another one again.  In order to best understand that, we have to go back to where this current journey all started. Mid-October 2015. I was right around my heaviest weight ever, heavier than 6 years ago when I had started my weight loss journey. I was mad at myself. I was mad body. I was even mad at God a little. And then my co-worker started mentioning that she needed more people to sign up on her Shamrock Race team. It was still 5 months away, I figure I had plenty of time to train and survive the 15k event. But the more I trained, the more I doubted, the more my legs objected to all the work, the more the idea of 15 kilometers (9.3 miles) seemed very scary and very, very undoable. So, the day of the race, I switched to the 8k. And it still...

It's been a trying couple of months since I last sat and wrote stuff down. But it's also been a couple months of incredible growth. Lets start where I left off. Day One of training for a half-marathon, also known as Day One of Back Pain. Steroids brought relief for a couple of weeks, but when it returned it was muscle relaxers and Physical Therapy time. And man, physical therapy has been the most amazing torture I have ever done. Twice a week I go in and get my butt kicked with what looks like should be simple workout moves (trust me they aren't) and then I usually get to just lay there for 15 minutes on some heavy duty heat while the e-stim is zapping my back. All the while I get to talk running and racing with my PTA Don. Thankfully the PT Nathan and Don are both runners, so when I first mentioned my race in December, they have been fully on board helping me get strong enough to achieve that goal. And while the first couple of weeks I felt like I was getting behind with...

What better time to write and talk about my feelings heading into my first round of Whole 30 than on day 29 when I am almost done. I knew I was ready for change. What I was doing from a nutrition standpoint to improve my wellness was just not working. I had a friend start a week before me and I had read about Whole 30 before so I figured why not. I maybe should have planned a little more than the 3 days warning I gave myself, but I figured I would probably talk myself out of it if I had too much time. I kept it pretty basic, took a couple weeks before i tried "recipes". But I did learn how to make my own ketchup and ranch. Like without Dairy and Sugar, so there's that. Man, you don't realize how "bad" you feel until you start to feel better. I mean I knew I was tired a lot. And I knew something must be off balance because even when I was working out and eating well the scale and the fit of my clothes was not reflecting my work. And I knew that I certainl...