Winter 5k

What happens when winter interferes with all your not so carefully crafted training plans and your back has a massive melt down and you find yourself checking in at a race not sure if you will even have the strength to make it to the starting line? Well, you either walk back to the car empty handed and cry or you suck it up, lower your expectations a little and get it done.

So that is what I found myself doing yesterday morning. I had been looking forward to this race since before I even finished the half marathon. I really wanted to do a race on my birthday weekend. It was to be a celebration of all I had accomplished in my 32nd year and a way to set the tone for all I hoped to do with year 33. There was so much I wanted out of the Winter 5k. I wanted my sub 16 min/mile back, I haven’t seen it since September after all.  I wanted to actually run part of it, not just 100 feet here or there but enough to actually say “I ran it”. I wanted to feel strong. However weeks of snow and ice and more ice and snow and the totally unexpected return of the back pain I had worked 4 hard months to get rid of left me more unprepared than I have ever been for a race. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would be able to start, much less actually finish. I considered not driving out to Aloha. I even considered not getting out of the car.  But from somewhere deep inside, I found the strength do it. I drove out there hoping and praying my back would loosen up, I got out of the car, I pinned my bib on and I lined up at the back of the pack for the race. Was it my best race on paper? Heck no, in fact it might actually be my worst race on paper. But I dug deep, i did not give up on myself, I even managed to do better than I thought I would. And, turns out, I managed to somehow help someone behind me to a strong finish time by being that person out in front of her that she strove to keep up with.

So here I face 33. In way more pain that I would like and not as close to accomplishing my goals as I would have hoped. But I have the tools and the team to work through the pain. And I haven’t given up on those goals, they still need chasing. These setbacks, they are just parts of my story, part of the adventure. They are not my definition, what I do with is. Without them my strength might not have developed in the ways it has and friendships might not have been forged.