A Smidjin at a time

Let's just say 2017 got kinda ugly and hard and dark and depressing there in the end. I'm not sure about you all, but I am so glad 2018 is here. I know really, deep down that the "New Year" is kinda an arbitrary thing, but there is also something magical about "New" things that fill us with hope again.  Last I checked in with you all here I was training for a Half-Marathon. I'm not to sure it was going well at the time, and well, it didn't get any better. I mean I did the half- marathon, it finished it. But it was very ill trained for, and my time, my body and my experience reflect that. But, I did it. I didn't give up before hand, and I didn't give up during it. I buckled down and I walked over that finish line on my own power and strength. Cause Big Tough Sandy is strong. So, there is was in my post-half marathon misery taking it easy, with a knee that was holding on to it's opinion that I did a stupid thing way longer than...

I'm not gonna lie. I've been pretty frustrated lately. I skipped a race I had been looking forward to. My mile time I swear is getting worse. I joined a weight loss challenge and GAINED weight. And I feel like my PT progress has been 2 steps forward 1 step back...with a couple random extra steps back. I have questioned why I haven't quite yet. But you know what? I almost gave up on another race this past weekend, but through the encouragement of a friend I showed up and walked 3x farther than any of my "training" walks this year. And you know what, it wasn't so bad. My legs didn't actually fall off, my back behaved the majority of the time, and the after party was a blast. I'm making more mental progress than physical progress. But I guess progress is progress. I audibly admitted (complete with sweat and a couple tears) how frustrated I am with my backs progress at physical therapy to the PTA I was working with this week, cause you know ...

DNS. Did Not Start Three letters that no "runner" ever wants to see next to their name. But alas, last week those letters and my name were used in the same sentence in regards to a race. Remember how this all started last year? Shamrock Run 8k, a wet and windy and pretty dang miserable first race of what would be an amazing year. Well, somehow I allowed myself to be talked into registering again. And really, I was excited to. I wanted to do a repeat race and be able to compare. But the closer and closer race day came, the less and less my body felt ready for it.  If it was simply a matter of just not getting enough runs in to feel like I would accomplish my goals. But more like a legit my back is still freaking out and I haven't really trained at all, and I was doing another run the day before that meant a lot more to me. So I found myself making the hard/easy decision to skip shamrock, even though I had my bib and shirt already. But here are a few things I learned fr...

What happens when winter interferes with all your not so carefully crafted training plans and your back has a massive melt down and you find yourself checking in at a race not sure if you will even have the strength to make it to the starting line? Well, you either walk back to the car empty handed and cry or you suck it up, lower your expectations a little and get it done. So that is what I found myself doing yesterday morning. I had been looking forward to this race since before I even finished the half marathon. I really wanted to do a race on my birthday weekend. It was to be a celebration of all I had accomplished in my 32nd year and a way to set the tone for all I hoped to do with year 33. There was so much I wanted out of the Winter 5k. I wanted my sub 16 min/mile back, I haven’t seen it since September after all.  I wanted to actually run part of it, not just 100 feet here or there but enough to actually say “I ran it”. I wanted to feel strong. However weeks of snow a...

Thirteen. It's kinda a big number today. It's thirteen days until I go out there and do Thirteen.One miles with my friend Randi. To say I am nervous is an understatement. My training hasn't gone exactly as planned. I have developed shin splints in the last month or so. My inner scaredy cat is making her presence known. I fought a migraine for a whole week. I backed off on a couple of the planned long runs. I have been Frustrated. I have cursed during a short walk. I have cut routes short because I was hurting. Or because I lost confidence in myself. I have cried on the living room floor. I have doubted myself. I have thought about giving up. But I haven't given up. I have trusted good friends with these frustrations. I have listened to their humor. I have absorbed every word of wisdom and encouragement they have spoken over me or texted me. I have planned the race outfit. I have even sewn my skirt. I have iced. I have stretched. I have foam rolled. I have become bes...

How did I end up here? What got me to this place where I am less than 2 months away, 6 weeks to be precise, from doing my 2nd half marathon? Especially considering I did not have fond memories of the first one and I swore I would never do another one again.  In order to best understand that, we have to go back to where this current journey all started. Mid-October 2015. I was right around my heaviest weight ever, heavier than 6 years ago when I had started my weight loss journey. I was mad at myself. I was mad body. I was even mad at God a little. And then my co-worker started mentioning that she needed more people to sign up on her Shamrock Race team. It was still 5 months away, I figure I had plenty of time to train and survive the 15k event. But the more I trained, the more I doubted, the more my legs objected to all the work, the more the idea of 15 kilometers (9.3 miles) seemed very scary and very, very undoable. So, the day of the race, I switched to the 8k. And it still...

Whole 30 Round 2 starts today! Well, technically it started today. Survived breakfast no problem, cooking lunch and food prepping for the week ahead as we speak. I am excited to tackle a second round because I know what I was able to accomplish the first time and I feel like with that knowledge I can go even stronger the 2nd time around. I know that I really am not a huge fan of sweet potatoes so I'm not gonna use them as the star of something. I'm also not scared of dump ranch anymore. I am also past the "scared of making a mistake so I better stick to the basics" phase and am excited to try out some new recipes. Also, starting tomorrow I start training for my 2nd Half- Marathon! I mean, why not start round 2 of 2 things at the same time. Similarly to Whole 30, I feel much better heading into this 2nd round of training than I did about the first, despite knowing how much it hurt and how much I did not like it at the end. Probably because I do know how much it h...